No marriage is perfect. Just like most things in life, a marraige will go through good times and not so good times. Research shows that changes of having a marraige that doesn’t in divorce is about 50%. Recent studies show that whether or not a couple has worked with a marraige counselor does little to improve this number.
Traditional marriage counseling is limited in the following areas:
- It can be expensive
- It involves you making an extended and regular time commitment
- Your options are limited of your partner does not want to go to counseling with
- The quality and the effectiveness of the advice you receive from a counselor varies
- Traditional strategies of “digging in the dirt” to investigate what in the marriage hasn’t worked can be tedious, hurtful, counterproductive and even lead to increased resentment
- Focusing on “improved communication skills” sometimes means you are just able to argue more articulately
So you clearly a need emerges for some other alternative to counseling to help marriages that are struggling.
Infidelity? Now, if your spouse is a chronic cheater, that’s a different matter. But most people will tell you that happily married people don’t cheat. Affairs happen when someone in the relationship is not getting a critical need met. Often, the need that is not satisfied has nothing to do with sex. Usually it is some sort of emotional need that is not being filled. How else do you account for the increasing incidents of “emotional cheating”? Having an affair can be one way to hide from your marriage problems, or at least distract from them. It’s never resolves the underlying problem.
If you constantly argue about money, how to raise your children, if you give your spouse the silent treatment, avoid physical intimacy with them – you already know taht your marriage isn’t healthy. Like your vehicle and your body, marraiges need on going maintenance to run smoothly. Focusing on a program that can help you set up positive relationship habits can be ultimately more affective in saving marriages than traditional marriage counseling. Also, marriages that are currently healthy will benefit hugely from this.
Healthy relationship habits
This covers a wide spectrum of practical routines you can start practicing to improve your relationship with your spouse, even those who will not participate in any type of counseling therapy. Alre several of these abouts about improving communication? Sure. But it goes much deeper than that. To feel appreciated, valued and respected is one of the most critical needs in a marriage. And yes, part of that involves more physical intimacy. Sometimes you just have to stop talking and start touching.
We all know that the emotional and financial cost of a failed marriage are substantial. Investing in professional guidance and setting up a “Marriage Fitness” program is one of the best investments you can make in your marriage and your life. Many of the programs available today on the internet offer free information and tips. Investing in these type of marriage resources is cheaper than counseling, or even a tension filled fancy dinner. There are so. Developing marriage fitness habits can be very rewarding, and your best chance of having the marriage you always dreamed of.
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